Fortsätt till huvudinnehåll

What the Narrow Pyramid Wants

Oftentimes, I give talks about the three pyramids which represent three different ways of achieving goals. Two of those ways are unacceptable: the wide and the narrow. One is perfect. Strange, but that’s often the way it is: one way. I sometimes refer to people as pyramids because the way they achieve their goals has taken over their entire lives and become their identity. The narrow pyramid is what I am talking about today: the “just do it’er;” the way of achieving the goal by going straight to it and not caring how you get there. The pushy guy or the bulldozer.

I don't think people understand the extent to which the narrow pyramid wants you to exert yourself to achieve your goals. The extent is infinite. Furthermore, people in general don’t realize that they are surrounded by extremists and people who are just a few compensations away from total chaos. The people you fear are amongst you.  And you are likely one of the people that other people fear.  

The narrow pyramid, or the person that immediately goes straight to goal and doesn’t care how s/he gets there wants you to hurt yourself in the process of achieving your goals. They want you to break open. They want an explosion. They want you to achieve regardless of what obstacle is put before you. They want pure belief, doubtlessness. They want you to kill the part of yourself that isn’t you. They want you to sacrifice. It doesn’t feel good if it isn’t achieved that way: a way that hurts. They want you to be on your edge. They often times mask their desires and true feelings(like everyone else: that's how we all get along), but the truth is that the narrow pyramid wants you to die.  Deep down inside.  

The reason the narrow pyramid person often times comes out on top is, quite simply, because we overestimate the dangers of the things we are scared of and uncomfortable with. There is nothing inherently dangerous in being a telemarketer, for instance, or someone who walks the street trying to get people to donate money to a cause they really don’t believe in. You might feel like there is a line somewhere where you need to take a break or something bad will happen, but that is likely a figment of your imagination. 

Kommentarer

Populära inlägg i den här bloggen

How the Body Works

This is a quick primer on how the body works so you can use that information to get more results in the gym.

Every muscle has a specific function(or a couple). That function is determined by its two end points. Its only job is to shorten the distance between those two end points.

Every muscle and muscle group has a general function. When the distance between those two end points is shortened, you achieve a goal/do a job.

For instance: the core is a group of muscles in the midsection of the body. All of their specific functions are to shorten the distances between their end points. In conjunction, their general function is stabilization. The core is made for stabilization. Some movement, but little.

Sometimes muscles don't do their jobs. That is a problem. If there wasn't a back-up system for that, we would be paralyzed in those movements where the muscle(s) was not doing its job. Fortunately, there is a back-up system. It's called compensation. Compensation is when a muscl…

The Lion and the Slave: Coaching Backward

"I was at [the] top of my game when I was in combat....To me, it's a little distressing to realize I was at my best doing something as terrible as war."-Robert Rheault US special forces. *source at end of article 
That PBS Vietnam war documentary re-confirmed my now strong beliefs about the subject I have written about below: forgiveness. A lot of those guys mix up some very good feelings with some very bad things. That causes problems later in life and requires a process similar to the one I am suggesting in this article. 
There are two well known kid's stories that represent the theme of this blogg article very well: the Lion and the Slave, and the Pea and the Princess. The idea is that you have to get rid of the bad, not just keep focusing on the good. "Repentence and forgiveness" is what it is called in old world talk, but is really the process of learning from, getting to the truth, and letting go of. 

You are limited by your beliefs. Your beliefs come…

Comfort Deficit

I was talking to my client the other day about Israel and Mexico and later thought of Hiroshima. This is a sensitive issue obviously but it relates to a problem I see in coaching in a broader sense.

Generally speaking people asking too much of their peers, clients...etc. When there is conflict, people are demanding changes that leave the other parties involved too uncomfortable. People have to feel good and are going to find ways to continue to do it. People are not going to have their sense of well being threatened for long.

In regards to coaching, you can't ask your client to do things that are uncomfortable, not replace that source of comfort, and expect them to succeed long term. Either the change has to be be small and singular in nature, the results of the change have to feel better than before, or something else has to be added back into the picture to get them feeling good again. That's good coaching. It's also what works. Nobody's ever going to be successful b…