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The Lion and the Slave Pt2: Coaching forward

So what do you do when you don’t have anything holding you back anymore? That whole segment on coaching backward was meant to get rid of things holding you back. Well, then you move forward.

Prior to beginning though, I feel compelled to inform you that there is a “coaching backward” specifically because people’s forward movement, the way they reach their goals, usually isn’t that great. They cause some problems and then they have to go back and fix them before they can move forward again. So, we want a way to move forward that is going to get us as much in the way of results as possible while causing as little problems as possible. That’s where traditional coaching comes into play. 

Coaching is quite simply a way of conversing, primarily via questions, that helps one person get to the highest truth already within them or in between the two of them. You’ve got a million different options for action, or things that you could do to reach your goal, and you need to know which ones are bes…
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The Lion and the Slave: Coaching Backward

"I was at [the] top of my game when I was in combat....To me, it's a little distressing to realize I was at my best doing something as terrible as war."-Robert Rheault US special forces. *source at end of article 
That PBS Vietnam war documentary re-confirmed my now strong beliefs about the subject I have written about below: forgiveness. A lot of those guys mix up some very good feelings with some very bad things. That causes problems later in life and requires a process similar to the one I am suggesting in this article. 
There are two well known kid's stories that represent the theme of this blogg article very well: the Lion and the Slave, and the Pea and the Princess. The idea is that you have to get rid of the bad, not just keep focusing on the good. "Repentence and forgiveness" is what it is called in old world talk, but is really the process of learning from, getting to the truth, and letting go of. 

You are limited by your beliefs. Your beliefs come…

Comfort Deficit

I was talking to my client the other day about Israel and Mexico and later thought of Hiroshima. This is a sensitive issue obviously but it relates to a problem I see in coaching in a broader sense.

Generally speaking people asking too much of their peers, clients...etc. When there is conflict, people are demanding changes that leave the other parties involved too uncomfortable. People have to feel good and are going to find ways to continue to do it. People are not going to have their sense of well being threatened for long.

In regards to coaching, you can't ask your client to do things that are uncomfortable, not replace that source of comfort, and expect them to succeed long term. Either the change has to be be small and singular in nature, the results of the change have to feel better than before, or something else has to be added back into the picture to get them feeling good again. That's good coaching. It's also what works. Nobody's ever going to be successful b…

What the Narrow Pyramid Wants

Oftentimes, I give talks about the three pyramids which represent three different ways of achieving goals. Two of those ways are unacceptable: the wide and the narrow. One is perfect. Strange, but that’s often the way it is: one way. I sometimes refer to people as pyramids because the way they achieve their goals has taken over their entire lives and become their identity. The narrow pyramid is what I am talking about today: the “just do it’er;” the way of achieving the goal by going straight to it and not caring how you get there. The pushy guy or the bulldozer.
I don't think people understand the extent to which the narrow pyramid wants you to exert yourself to achieve your goals. The extent is infinite. Furthermore, people in general don’t realize that they are surrounded by extremists and people who are just a few compensations away from total chaos. The people you fear are amongst you.  And you are likely one of the people that other people fear.  
The narrow pyramid, or the p…

How the Body Works

This is a quick primer on how the body works so you can use that information to get more results in the gym.

Every muscle has a specific function(or a couple). That function is determined by its two end points. Its only job is to shorten the distance between those two end points.

Every muscle and muscle group has a general function. When the distance between those two end points is shortened, you achieve a goal/do a job.

For instance: the core is a group of muscles in the midsection of the body. All of their specific functions are to shorten the distances between their end points. In conjunction, their general function is stabilization. The core is made for stabilization. Some movement, but little.

Sometimes muscles don't do their jobs. That is a problem. If there wasn't a back-up system for that, we would be paralyzed in those movements where the muscle(s) was not doing its job. Fortunately, there is a back-up system. It's called compensation. Compensation is when a muscl…

The Power of Repentence and Forgiveness

That is a man who carried a burden for roughly 75yrs and at 16:50, he let go of it.

As I have said on numerous occassions before, I believe in right and wrong. I didn't before I started PT, I do now. It is not quite as well developed as Americans would have you believe, but neither is it as gray as modern Swedes would have you believe. Some things are so closely associated with right and wrong that it would take only the most disassociated, toughest people on Earth be able to live through without compensation.

A couple of weeks ago, I read an article about a guy that had been living a double life, cheating on his wife with "hundreds" of women and even had a kid with someone else behind her back. The wife, and the other women, were, of course, the victims, but I wouldn't want to be that guy. Not because of something bad that the women are going to do to him, but because of what I believe he does and will continue to do to himself.

There is a pattern that is responsi…

Objective Policies

I'm coming on having lived in both Sweden and the United States, respectively, exactly half of my life. With more perspective, I have decided that there is a good way to govern a country and neither one of them are doing it. I am in love with the original American idea and I am in love with Swedish environmentalism. I hate abuse. Both Swedes and Americans abuse their rights. The issue is, of course, that the things they are abusing aren't, in fact, theirs.

In the future, I think everyone is going to find that the most pleasant place to live is the one where everyone takes care of themselves as well as the things that they commonly own. I think in the future, governments or states will hold themselves to things that the people "own."

The deliciously Scandinavian idea that we all own the environment is one it doesn't take a genius to figure out: you pollute your water, you pollute my water. You pollute your air, you pollute my air.

Niether is the idea of American i…